No matter how hard we try to avoid suffering, it seems that life will always test our limits. Sometimes, it doesn’t take much to feel swept away and fear we’ll never find our way back to a sense of safety and stability within ourselves. When we eventually regain our balance, we may look back and wonder why we panicked. But in those moments, the fear of losing ourselves for good can feel very real. Overcoming this anxiety requires faith in something solid and reliable.
I find the wisdom of the Zen Buddhist tradition offers a simple but poignant answer. In Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, Shunryu Suzuki writes as he describes “big mind,” “The true understanding is that the mind includes everything… Nothing outside yourself can cause any trouble. For us there is no fear of losing this mind. There is nowhere to come or to go…”
If we can slowly question, understand, and start to believe this, a shift happens. We can’t escape ourselves, so the joy and vitality we’ve felt, maybe especially in childhood, can never truly disappear. It’s just beneath the surface, waiting to be found again. Where else would it go? It can feel hard to believe this, especially as life brings more pain. But if suffering is always with us, so is the light, even when it feels dim. It might return in brief moments or take time to fully notice, but if we trust it, joy is right there.
These aren’t quick or easy insights that change your life right after reading a book or talking to a friend or therapist. Personally, I’ve read Suzuki’s book several times, and I still feel some confusion and doubt about these ideas. Rebuilding trust in ourselves and viewing our minds this way is a lifelong practice, but it is a valuable and precious gift to reconnect with ourselves: in our “big mind” we hold it all, so coming home to lightness will always be possible.