At a seminar recently, the presenter spoke of depression, saying “the only way out is through.”  The idea is that the best (and sometimes the only) way to change how we feel and operate in our lives is to directly process through the feelings.  However, people are adaptive and resilient and sometimes this leads people to push those feelings down, in order to move past and survive. Those deeply rooted feelings are still there, even after being pushed down. Processing them takes courage and vulnerability and often is intimidating and scary. That is where I see my role as a therapist: to walk side by side with my clients and to work through those feelings together.

However, processing feelings does not necessarily mean that from the moment you sit in my office that we are going to go straight to the hard feelings. Therapy is a process of establishing a trusting relationship between therapist and client, while also creating a sense of resilience within my clients. Together we work to define a clear idea of feelings or problems in your life that you are ready to change. As a family therapist, this often means gaining a better understanding of the family system that you are a part of and hearing your story. Therapist style varies, but my approach is to meet you where you are at in a non-judgmental way.  I try my best to relate to my clients in our shared humanity, the idea is never to be “the professional advising from a higher place.” Often this means talking about commonalities between all people and looking at situations with sensitivity and sometimes a sense of humor.

As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I have grown to love working with couples and helping them find joy and fulfillment in their relationships. When meeting with a new couple I look primarily at two things: how secure do you feel in the relationship and how effectively are you able to communicate.  Feeling connected and secure in the fact that we can rely on our partners to be with and see us emotionally allows for couples to thrive. But, at times couples are like a song that’s just a little out of tune, one partner reaching out in a way that the other can’t see or being hesitant to reach out because of fear of disapproval. As a therapist, I help couples find ways to connect and process through the difficulties in life that impede your ability to be vulnerable with one another.