home
our therapists
how we do it
outcomes

Kayla Wolf, MFTC

Marriage & Fam Thrpst Cand.

720-434-9655

our services

Kayla Wolf, MFTC   720-434-9655

FAQ
privacy
general info & therapy style
areas of treatment
how to reach us
group therapy
employment
outcome data
resources
biography
inspiring quotes
recommended books & films
videos & photos
book appointment

main phone: 303-547-3700

areas of treatment


click on a topic:

addictions
affairs & infidelity
anger
anxiety
child & adolescent therapy
chronic illness & pain
couples therapy
depression
trauma


addictions

Addiction is so powerful that it almost becomes another member of the family around which everything is organized, though it might remain hidden and unspoken. How do your addictions affect your relationships? How do your relationships affect your addiction? What are the patterns in your family? Whether alcohol, drugs, porn, or something else, what purpose does your addiction serve? There was initially a real reason for your use, even if now it feels like things have spiraled out of control. Understanding what this reason was, or is, will be an important part of the process. Oftentimes addiction is a way to numb painful emotions or to connect to something, anything. Sometimes addiction is a buffer in an unhappy marriage or relationship. So, let's talk about it.

If you are seeking help for the first time and are unsure if you have a problem, we can figure that out together. If you are in recovery, we can make sure to include whatever model of recovery you have found most helpful. Maybe you are not an addict. Instead, you are the partner, adult child, friend, or other family member of an addict. You have likely heard addiction is a disease but may struggle reconciling this with the pain you feel because of your loved one's actions. Living with or around addictions can feel haunting. We first have to invite the ghosts home so we can work through whatever it is that will give you peace.

return to list

affairs & infidelity

Infidelity is a devastating shock to the system. It confirms your worst fear. Almost always, infidelity makes both partners question themselves and the relationship. "How could this happen? What does this mean about me? Will we ever be able to move forward?" For the injured partner, infidelity can create doubts about self-worth, anger, and depression. Reminders about the affair can trigger strong emotions that make forgiveness feel like a treacherous mountain to climb. For the partner involved in the affair, there can also be a profound sense of shame, depression, and identity confusion. Many involved partners want to repair the relationship but may fear that nothing they do will ever be enough. Injured partners may want to forgive but fear opening their hearts again. Couples therapy can help to stabilize your strong emotions and to build a sense of safety and trust that perhaps never existed or was damaged by the affair. Each partner's story about how the infidelity came to be will be shared. Ultimately, healing will involve some form of forgiveness or acceptance that the affair happened. My hope is that you will leave therapy with a sense that the infidelity does not have to define your entire relationship if you don't want it to.

return to list

anger

Emotions are signals that let us know what we need. So, all emotions (including anger) can be productive. Anger can be a sign that our needs are not being met and that we might want to do something about that. Anger can be a motivating and positive force in our lives. However, many people are afraid of anger because they equate it with being out of control. But, the experience of anger is always okay. It's the way we act on anger which may be more or less acceptable. I can help you find ways to express anger in a manner that others can hear and in a way that is consistent with how you view yourself. It may also be important to identify if underneath your anger, there is hurt due to a violation you have experienced.

return to list

anxiety

Anxiety is exhausting; it can feel like your brain or your body is always saying, "Go!" Turning off your thoughts or getting a handle on your body's reactions may seem impossible. Often, it feels like you are playing a game of Whack-A-Mole with your worries -after one worry gets figured out, another one pops up to take its place. Anxiety may be tied to insecurities in your relationships and the environments you are in. So, what's feeding your anxiety? We can figure this out together and find the best way to address it. This may mean learning skills to better manage anxiety, practicing acceptance, or working on an important relationship in your life.

return to list

child & adolescent therapy

Adolescence is an extremely challenging time. Healthy teenagers explore and settle on an identity. It is a time of risk-taking and learning how to be more independent. Your teen is trying to accomplish this while attending school, navigating peer pressure, starting to date, and going through puberty. Not easy. Because of all these changes, it can be hard for you and your teen to stay connected. As a parent, you may feel out of the loop and your patience may run thin. You might wonder how to support the independence of your teen and yet remain in charge. It is common for families to have conflict and for teens to experience depression and anxiety.

I work with teens in individual and family therapy. Adolescent depression and anxiety can be addressed in either context. Individual therapy can help teens to have a space where they feel heard and supported in their developing beliefs and identity. We can also work through friendship and dating issues. Family therapy can help you and your teen to create a stronger relationship, increase communication, and create balance between togetherness and separateness. Individual or family therapy? We can talk about what your family needs, and figure out what direction is best.

return to list

chronic illness & pain

If you are experiencing illness, how we work together depends on whether you are in the crisis, chronic, or terminal phase. Each phase of illness comes with unique emotions and challenges. There can also be further complications depending on what stage of life you or your family members are in. All of this affects the way you are coping with illness and pain. Some people respond to illness with increased closeness while others begin to distance themselves and isolate from relationships. Chronic illness can challenge your identity and sense of integrity, and create strong feelings of grief. In therapy, I want to hear about your illness. I also want to hear about who you are outside of your illness, and if you can't remember, we can talk about that too. You may have heard the importance of developing a "new normal." What does this mean to you? Let's talk about how you can find meaning in your life and your illness. How can you accept that chronic illness is sitting at the dinner table but also not allow it to dominate the conversation? My hope is that through our work, you will create new meaning, regain balance in your relationships, and learn to live with, rather than against, your illness.

return to list

couples therapy

Being a member of a couple is hard work. Each day, couples do a dance in which they separate from each other to attend to life's responsibilities and then later reconnect. Choosing to reconnect every day is just that-a choice. But there are many things that complicate your ability to choose this and to dance well together. Let's face it-sometimes you and your partner look more like two uncoordinated people at a middle school dance!

So, what's tripping you up? Maybe you and your partner struggle to communicate so you feel like you are never on the same page. Often, couples have sticking points that repeatedly cause the same arguments. Or is it that your sex life is not as satisfying as you want it to be? Other couples are seeking ways to build safety in their relationship after a violation of trust. Still other couples want to know how to support their partner through a serious illness. How can you be a safe haven when your partner has history of trauma? How can you be a stronger team when life keeps sending you one stressful experience after another?

Whether you are experiencing stressors from within your relationship, your family, or the outside world, couples therapy can be a place to address this and share your perspective with your partner. We will also work on understanding your partner's viewpoint, even if you don't agree with it (because you don't always have to agree)! Having the chance to share your most vulnerable self with your partner in a space that is safe can be a very powerful, gratifying experience, whether you feel like you are in crisis or simply need a tune-up to your relationship.

return to list

depression

One of the hardest parts about depression is how invisible it can be. You may be missing work or social obligations because you don't feel up to it or you might be getting through the day just fine on the surface. In either case, people in your life, even those closest to you, may not know the depths of your sadness or the heart-breaking amount of energy you put into making it seem like everything is okay. You probably feel alone and chances are that you believe something is wrong with you. You may wonder why you can't just be happy or what it will take to get motivated. That's because depression is good friends with shame, guilt, and above all, hopelessness-hopelessness that your depression will ever go away or hopelessness that you don't know how to live without depression. Is depression all you have ever known or did a recent event set it off? I want to hear about your unique story of depression and help bring context to why you might be feeling this way. We will also search for the bright spots in your life, as hard as they might be to see. It will be important to look at your relationships and how you view yourself, as well.

return to list

trauma

Trauma is most commonly thought of as coming from a life-threatening situation or a severe threat to your physical and sexual safety. But there is also trauma from growing up in a chaotic household in which your needs were not met, you were abused, or you witnessed extreme dysfunction. Regardless of the type, trauma creates a sense of isolation, powerlessness, and numbness. It also creates loss. What did trauma take from you and how did it shape the way you view yourself and relationships? These are important questions we will explore in therapy. We will also talk about your ability to trust and your sense of safety in the world (or even your own body). To work through trauma, it is important that we move at a pace and depth that feels comfortable to you and that you feel some control over the process. It will be helpful to learn how trauma has affected your current responses, whether that feels like a constantly overwhelmed state or a sense of being numb. We can work on ways to tolerate uncomfortable sensations, emotions, and thoughts. Healing will look different for everyone but will ultimately include gaining a sense of meaning and power over your life story again. How would your life be different if not for the trauma you experienced? Who would you be? Maybe the fact that you can't even imagine this is where we'll start.

return to list

search our site: